If I believed... Everything that I was told. November 2nd 2010.
8:14 pm. I was reading with the music volume down to just a background noise. I feel nostalgic. Where are my friends? Does anyone care at all? I don't get any calls and no one wants to go out with me. I don't want to stay in this place anymore... but then again, I don't call anyone either. The walls are too thin, and the other girls don't really seem to care, but when they're deranged it's my fault. Nice. I guess I'm bound to be forgotten about, and my family and current stay place don't make things any easier for me. My cousins don't even ask. What am I here for? What's my purpose in life? I thought about living for myself, I'd work, earn, and do what makes me happy, alone. Who would I share my joys with? Who will be there to comfort me when I'm not feeling good? I just want to sleep, and never wake up. That would do. And when I don't wake up, I would just vanish into thin air, as if I never existed on this earth, everyone would forget about me, forget I was there, forget I even existed. No one would remember me, my family, people I know, people who might've seen me a couple times. I wonder, had my life been something else, a different life, what would I be thinking about right now. Mom, she's sweet, the only person who does call, I want to open up to her, but I just can't, it's weird, she should be my best friend, she who loves us, more than anything even though, with screwed up ways of showing that affection. I know how lonely she feels, far from everything she ever had, everything she grew up with. I feel the same. Then comes the feeling of falling backwards into an endless black hole, float away on light waters, just lay there and fall asleep. Endless sleep. Stare at the stars, wander into the deepest parts of the universe.
<<I walk the halls, endless stairs, here's where the floor starts to fade. With weakened knees, I sway two ways and fall to the floor where I prayed.>> - Epilogue – Late Night Alumni.